I had the best sleep in a long time mid-October. It was my first time going under GA (general anesthesia), and I realised why people get addicted to sleeping pills (I assume it’s similar?). I actually reminisced about waking up from that dreamless state after the surgery. It was kind of nice to lie there in a woozy sort of haze, pretending I didn’t know about the tasks that lay ahead and telling myself the doctor had given me 14 days medical leave. In 2 hours time though, I was already crocheting with the IV drip still sticking out of my dominant hand.

Probably because I kept thinking about the tender care I received in this particular hospital, fate threw me back into another hospital in just 2 days after the procedure. I was admitted to the A&E on a different suspected condition, and the experience was the complete opposite of what I experienced before. My vein got bruised in a few places from the inexperienced drawing of blood done for tests, and, afraid to be warded and losing days of work, I asked to be discharged against medical advice.

This newsletter comes late because I’ve been deep in intense production since early October. It’s hard to explain exactly how busy I can get during such periods; people think, surely, it should be okay to go out for dinner just 1 night? The answer is actually no. I’ve had to clock 12-14h a day in order to meet my deadline, but since my body isn’t 20 anymore, I flaked out some days and ended up having to edit my artwork.

This year was the year in which I realised how I really take my health for granted. The moment I’m well enough to not think about pain, my brain switches to work mode. But when I’m in intense pain, I internally beg my body to be well, as if that helps. One of my life goals has become to learn how to treat my body better.

WHAT I HAVE BEEN UP TO

Crocheting Filet Lace

There’s just something about making textiles by hand. It sends a thrill through me to know every single bit of yarn in this work has passed through my fingers. If someone tested this lace, it probably shouts my DNA in the results.

Textile-making is often seen as a ritual of care; artists who practice in this medium often talk about slowing down and the importance of domestic women’s work. But what is not often talked about is the use of the human body— the literally human-made— part of textile. Your skin breaks, you bleed, your eyesight gives, in some cases you bear with unruly weather conditions; so it feels a bit ironic when people preach about whether silkworms or sheep are being treated ethically (not saying they shouldn’t be). Actually, many art-making processes aren’t ethical to the artists themselves. (I met an artist who works with charcoal, and all her fingerprints are missing due to her rubbing her fingers so often on the canvas; and let’s not even talk resin pours and turpentine.)

In my opinion, textile-making is a true show of human— and mostly, women’s— resilience and commitment to a task. I enjoy work that has been made with ‘sacrifice’, because I believe in ‘exchange’. Somehow, the self-indulgent manner of living in modern society has developed an entitlement for a reward, even with minimal effort. I’m more old-school, and have always believed in the pilgrimage rather than the destination. Surely, I have to give something up in order to receive.

I once watched a documentary about a cattle farmer who spoke about how the animal, from which life has been taken for our consumption, should be respected by being treated well in life; but more importantly by properly using each and every part of the body, cooking it well, and enjoying the meal. I share similar sentiments, especially when working with precious yarns like silk. I respect my material, and would never waste it. I’m not producing in massive quantity, but the little that I use should be used well. If the silkworm has given its life, then at least, what it deserves is the sacrifice of my time, the labour of my hands. I don’t agree with sacrificing good material for self-indulgent expressions and half-hearted experiments with no conscious learning; worse still if it was made for fancies like social media. Even if the yarn was synthetic, its production has taken from the world in some way (e.g. adding to pollution). That’s what I mean by ‘exchange’. There is a balance to everything, and our current way of life has us often taking more than we can give back (also because money is being used to quantify things— “If I paid for it, why don’t I deserve to use it” mindset). Rather than leaving the responsibility of being ‘ethical’ to the maker from which you purchase, one should attempt to create responsibly by using good material to its full potential.

I’m currently crocheting a filet lace piece inspired by a French lace pattern from early 1900s, made entirely in cotton on a 0.75mm hook. It’s the largest I’ve attempted so far. Technique-wise, filet isn’t something difficult to grasp, but it does require a lot of focus and time. I am working towards an exhibition in January 2025, and excited to share more once the details are confirmed. Look out for it (-:

NEW THINGS I SAW

There are just so many good shows going on in Singapore during this period, and due to my schedule I’ve either missed some or have had to speed through them. I’m just going to do some quick highlights. I am also planning to visit Natee Utarit’s 2 ongoing exhibitions at STPI Gallery and The Private Museum (which ends on 1 Dec and 8 Dec respectively)!

A Strange Resonance by Ashley YK Yeo

MIZUMA GALLERY, 26 OCT - 8 DEC 2024

I’d been looking forward to this show since Ashley told me she was working on it at the start of this year. Most people would be familiar with Ashley’s paper cut works since she became a finalist of the prestigious LOEWE Craft Prize in 2018. I find that being known for a certain thing (especially medium) can be a trap for an artist, as they might feel inclined or pressured to move in that direction. What I enjoyed about Ashley’s latest solo is the definite level-up from her prior paper cut works— she has introduced new materials like mother-of-pearl and lacquer, and her forms have developed a complexity in composition that can only be brought about by intense experimentation.

I enjoyed this particular piece due to the crispness of its shadow, brought about (as the artist explained) by the lacquer paper absorbing more light than regular paper. The curve of its form has it perched precariously at an angle, forming a tangent with the surface— threatening to break off that sliver of contact at a mere tremor.

An experience of being with all the works in the space is needed to feel the subtle threads linking them up— one I can only suggest as ‘lightness’. Rather than being confined to a medium, I feel Ashley’s works convey a lightness that suggests a deftness of her fingers. In ‘ocean in your chest’ pictured above, the darkness in the churning waves draws you into its depths; yet when you get close enough, the clever application of silver foil picks you up in the sea breeze.

There is also a wonderful essay (and photos) in the catalogue linked below so I will stop embarrassing myself and suggest you read that instead!

Batik Nyonyas

PERANAKAN MUSEUM, 11 OCT 2024 - 31 AUG 2025

It’s my first time to the Peranakan Museum, and aside from this special exhibition highlighting the distinct batik styles of three Peranakan women from Indonesia, the permanent collection is also amazing. The craft (batik, beading, embroidery) of this culture is immaculate. I visited the House of Danar Hadi in Solo while I was in Indonesia, and while the range of batik there was huge AND the ticket included a VERY KNOWLEDGEABLE English-speaking guide one-to-one, photos were not allowed. As I was doing some research on batik, that was unfortunate; however, photos ARE allowed in the Peranakan Museum, so that was helpful. I was particularly interested in batik belanda (Dutch batik), and there were quite a few samples on display too!

Aside from the batik textiles, there were also outfits on display, showing the different styles in which batik was worn. The one above is one of my favourites— the kebaya top worn by the Indo-Europeans tend to be white, and have lace details reminiscent of those from Europe.

Everyday Practices

SINGAPORE ART MUSEUM, 30 AUG 2024 - 20 JUL 2025

I was very keen to visit this show because of the work pictured above by Imhathai Suwatthanasilp as she works with human hair, a medium I have long loved. She collects hair, then ties them end-to-end with knots to form a long string which she then crochets (I found out about her process via her Instagram account). Honestly, all her work just blows my mind, and I hope I can see more of them in person.

The exhibition title ‘Everyday Practices’ is as plain as it gets, and honest to the almost mundane, repetitive actions making up each artwork. But in no way are the artworks dull. I personally enjoy such works that are simple, yet translate a strong message with a dedication to the practice— something much harder to do than it looks. The medium is usually items found in our everyday life, making them relatable and showing us the unique perspective of artists and how they contemplate the very same objects we might not spare a second thought for. And most of all, they convey a sense of time.

RECENT HAPPENINGS

Talk at Keming Primary School

I feel many might think such talks are a waste of their time. Both the listener and the speaker, I mean. But I always try to make time for schools when I can, even if it is pre-school or primary school where the probability of them understanding art is lower. I never had interaction with artists when I was in school, so I feel it is a good opportunity to introduce art to students from my perspective (of course, I believe my opinions might help shape a better attitude towards art-making and life).

I was surprised to learn that my artwork is being included in the primary school art syllabus in Singapore, because I never thought my art (or image) would be something promoted to the mainstream. I guess I have a ‘relatable’ image that deviates from the awkward, cool, silent ‘fine art’ types; something more acceptable to younger ages. I was also approached by the education board to be part of a video series sharing about art, and was told they had been rejected by quite a few female artists before me. I guess many artists might shun these. But I have to banish the idea others might have that I actually do it because I enjoy being on screen. I don’t, but I also don’t mind it. I do it because I will take every opportunity to make my art more understandable to people outside of the art world, especially to more receptive, young minds, even if it nudges my image in a direction different from which I am headed.

WHAT I’M READING

Harry Potter Audiobook

Unfortunately, I’ve been so busy with crocheting that I haven’t had time to read. If someone invented a foot-activated page flipper, I’d buy it. The best option so far is using my toe to read my kindle.

Every year, I listen to the entire Harry Potter audiobook series read by Stephen Fry at least once through. I reserve it for long, tedious projects that require hours of sitting still. Somehow, other audiobooks and podcasts don’t do the trick because they distract me too much. Harry Potter is something I’m familiar with enough to treat as background noise, and having listened to it so much, I can recognise the characters from Stephen Fry’s different voices (he is absolutely fantastic), and remember entire conversations. Strangely it was only last year, having listened to it for the Nth time, that I starting finding Harry to be such a self-centred, big-headed prat.

I also observed how J.K. Rowling writes the books as if they are movies or video games. We are introduced to new concepts by way of another character explaining to Muggle-bred Harry in unnaturally specific ways. Those times, I wish I can press ‘skip intro’. There are also scenes in Philosopher’s Stone and Half-Blood Prince which do not include Harry (e.g. while Harry is flying on the Quidditch pitch, we are listening to Ron and Hermione talking in the stands), yet we can also hear Harry’s inner thoughts. The inconsistency in perspective is sometimes jarring, and I can only attribute it to her viewing it as a movie.

Another random realisation is how Tom Riddle’s diary is like ChatGPT— it seems it can make certain decisions on its own, but it has in fact been programmed with the 16 year old version of him to behave a certain way. When you write to it, it replies and seems to understand. But it slowly saps the life out of you, until you forget who you are.

I don’t think I’m a Harry Potter ‘fan’. I used to be when I was a child, and I will never forget that wonderment when my teacher told 7-year-old me about this book about a wizard school that would ‘change the literary world’ (and so it did). I copied out the Hogwarts letter in green ink and mailed the envelope to myself when I was 8. I own the first release of GoF with the misprint on page 503. I jostled with other kids at the department store to play on the free game demos. And when it was announced that they were casting for the movie, I didn’t even hesitate to think that I was going to audition. As I had no concept of ‘countries’, imagine my horror when they announced the finalised cast, and I was all like, “YOU DIDN’T EVEN ASK ME!” Nope, I wasn’t going to be Cho Chang. Without a doubt, I knew I was know-it-all Hermione Granger. And yes, I also had no concept of race. I read Harry Potter somehow imagining them to all look like people around me (i.e. Asian).

A lot of people imagine Harry Potter fans as people brandishing wands and decorating their house interior with merch, attending those spinoff events with badly made props. I’m none of the above, but I do see many of the characters and scenes as allegories and would gladly discuss them in relation to things happening in the real world.

LAST THOUGHTS

Making Choices from Your Corner of the World

Recently, I was approached for a social media engagement. I haven’t done these for a while because of my decision to focus on my art, but this was a product I liked, and could see myself creating some artistic content for. To be perfectly honest, I do actually enjoy creating such content, and it does help introduce a bit of income to support my practice as I do not have another job. This year especially, with my focus on overseas residencies, I have had to reject all commissioned projects. So this was quite a welcome gig.

I decided to research the company’s stand on the ongoing genocide Israel is committing against the Palestinians, and was extremely disappointed to learn that from as early as the mid-90s, they have expressed support for Israel and even have a factory on occupied Palestine. I had to reject the job.

Why am I telling you this? Because to silently say ‘no’ would mean to simply disappear so someone else can take your place— and surely, many would. But I would like to say that while I have nothing very much in comparison to people of greater riches and power, I have my voice, and if I don’t use that voice, then what do I have left? I don’t like to use that voice for pointless shouting, because it tires everyone. But I’ve always believed that everything starts from your little corner of the world, with your very small, conscious actions. Work from inwards, to out; and like the ‘Everyday Practices’ mentioned above, or the little squares of filet crochet coming together to form a larger work, surely, things can change.